Between Here and There

Recently I have been told that someone who at one time  I considered to be my best friend referred to me as being the N-word.  While this not only hurt me, it also disappointed me because I truly believed this person to be somewhat educated.  So , I want to school him on a few things so that the next time he feels the urge to refer to me by a name that is totally irrelevant  to my ethnicity, he might think twice.

Being of a multicultural mix, I have been called many names, some flattering and some not so flattering. And while having to deal with the ignorance of certain people on a daily basis, I have to keep in mind that nobody knows how to identify me.

Unlike what you’re familiar with, the idea of interracial families and mixed-race people is still foreign to many of my peers, and lets be honest here, mixing of the races is still somewhat taboo in the United States regardless of progression.  Identifying mixed-race people for the untrained eye is often akin to meeting an alien, because to them, I look different, might not speak just how they anticipated, ( being labeled as Booshie, rather than educated) aren’t visible in the largest numbers, and they often don’t know how to interact with me.

People identify me  incorrectly. On the other hand, sometimes people are certain they know who I am or get a bit lazy with the labels. Oftentimes acknowledging the other parts of me is completely insignificant to them.

People interact with me based on who they think I am . For example, I was in a relationship with a (Caucasian) man who after we split up, started calling me the N word. While my appearance obviously shows that I am of mixed race (Black/Cuban and white) He chose to overlook my unique mixture and go right for the throat. For the record, not everyone who is a shade darker  than ghost is classified as a N****r and need to realize that the N word  has a totally different meaning because I have seen and dealt with N's in all colours and came to realize that ignorance has no colour boundary.

Now on the other hand, others fail to accept how I self-identify. And then when people do discover my ethnic makeup, they somehow find it disagreeable. I'm too this and too that for some people, who also become angry if I don’t “choose” one side or another.

I don’t wish I could be more black, white, or Latina; it’d just be nice to be fully accepted simply as I am into black, white, and Latino circles. Sad but true,  monoracial friends and family members can be insensitive to my unique experiences. Even though I'm a part of their life, they still might be small-minded, as I found out after the fact.

One thing that has always made me giggle is when  people  disbelieve or express shock over who my mom or dad are. My mother is 100% blond hair blue eye little white lady lol. My father being a beautiful Black/Cuban with skin the colour of rich caramel, and as handsome as the next man.When I was a kid, people told my father to return me to my real parents and my mother that I was too dark to be hers. ( some went so far as to say they heard I had a white stripe down my back) lol  The ignorance of some people is almost laughable.

One lesson I have learned throughout my life is that most people still have to catch up and have a lot of exploring left to do.  For me personally,  it’s important to be resilient and value no opinion about myself but my own. The ones who hate me for your biracial or triracial glory are jerks.

But the bottom line is that what my  parents, friends, peers, schoolmates, doctors, and government says about me can only dictate who I am in society , but ultimately I only concern myself  about who I am to me.